A secret agent is sent to Ireland...

[Belle]

..... to deliver a top secret package

"Go to this small town in Ireland, find our agent named O'Malley and say the following to him: 'the shadows of the moon are getting dark.' He'll reply 'but the sun will guarantee the light.' When he says that, give him the package and head home."

So the agent goes to the small Irish town but only sees a handful of shops and a farm. He walks up to the farmer and says "I'm looking for a man named O'Malley."

The farmer replies "you need to be more specific than that. The bank manager is named O'Malley, the Butcher is O'Malley, the undertaker is O'Malley and for that matter I'm O'Malley too."

Hearing that he says to the farmer in a hushed voice "the shadows of the moon are getting dark."

The farmer replies "oh your looking for O'Malley the spy. He lives in the next community west."

[Belle]

My 80-year-old Irish grandmother once told me, "You know, there's only a slight difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral."

I asked, "And what's that?"

She said, "One less drunkard at the funeral."